yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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