O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
