my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
