oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize