i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
