At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My life is pants optional.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize