I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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