I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
the day after is always just damage control
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
