I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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