just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The uberlube is also flammable
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
