i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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