Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize