sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
