Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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