You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
