yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I will be naked everywhere
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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