They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
