I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
