Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
