biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
