Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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