there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
