I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize