saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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