And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
