i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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