i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
