i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
