Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
