i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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