addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
