He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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