YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
