I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
