do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
