I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize