Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
