We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
