Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
