If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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