im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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