Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
