This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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