Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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