I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Apparently you make a good broom.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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