im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
