found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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