i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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