lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
