i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
