The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
