I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
