Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
