I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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