i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize