Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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