went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
