The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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