I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he puts the penis in happiness.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize