I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize
