You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
ok first of all what the fuck
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
