after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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