Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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