I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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