You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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