I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
