He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
