those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
